The Clifford Report is a review of COFFEE SHOPS. The Clifford Report is all about the EXPERIENCE. There are may aspects to the coffee experience that contribute to the CURRENT RATING. Is the COFFEE GOOD? Are the STAFF NICE? Is the DECOR COOL? Is the coffee GOOD VALUE? Ultimately, how was THE EXPERIENCE?

Factors that could swing the rating one way or another :- it may be the best coffee in the world, but if there is music so loud you struggle to hold a conversation, the rating will plummet. The coffee may be only tolerable, but if the venue is cool and the staff are friendly and fast, the rating will climb. The company that is sharing the EXPERIENCE may influence the rating. Associate’s views at the time may alter the weighting.

It’s about the OVERALL EXPERIENCE people!

The rating system is entirely arbitrary, concise and represents no-one’s opinion except my own. I’m simply calling it as I see it at the exact time and place I have the coffee. It may be a take away, sit down or stand around, but can only relate to the precise moment of the day the coffee is bought. That is to say the same establishment may rate highly one day, and below average on another as a result of many intangible factors, not least of  which is the weather.

All coffee establishments start at a 50% rating – neither good nor bad. The rating system I have applied results in the following generalisations:-

>85%     I will go out of my way and actively seek out this establishment to have a coffee, even if I don’t really feel like one. Will make time to have a coffee. I recommend it to my friends and it is a first call venue if I am within 2Km.

75-85%     Very comfortable here. Destination establishment, almost always have a coffee if passing, will generate an appetite for a coffee.

60-75%    Nice. Happy to drop in any time I’m passing.

50-60%    Not bad. Will definitely return for further assessment at some stage. Requires some desire for coffee to attend, even if passing the door.

40-50%    The experience is tolerable – I would go there if someone else was paying and they really liked the establishment.

25-40%    Only go there if everyone else is shut and I hadn’t had coffee for 24 hours. Probably won’t revisit.

<25%     Won’t go there again. I would cross to the other side of the street to avoid my shadow being cast on their premises.

The Clifford Report will possibly EXPAND to other equally important things in the future.